Losing, Mistakes, and Low Playing Time - How Do We Deal With It?

Francesco Saporito
Dec 3, 2025
4 min read

Football is one of the best environments for building resilience, bravery and confidence, and a strong mindset for young athletes.

That being said, some of the toughest moments also come with playing the beautiful game — losing competitions, making mistakes, getting benched – things that all footballers deal with at many points in their journey.

These moments matter. In fact, they shape young athletes far more than the wins truly do.

Personally, my handling of making mistakes and experiencing periods of low playing time were the downfall for me as a footballer, and I wish someone would have given me the same advice listed below.

Here are some ideas that can support a player through the emotional ups and downs of football — without feeling as much pressure or frustration.

1. Normalize the Ups and Downs of Sports

Kids often think they’re the only ones who struggle. In reality, every athlete — even professionals — deal with:

Poor performances
Tough losses
Not starting or being benched
Criticism from coaches
Confidence dips

Let your child know it's normal. Not a sign they’re “not good enough,” but simply part of the journey.

Consider Cristiano Ronaldo – in his professional career, he’s missed THE MOST PENALTIES of ANY PLAYER in HISTORY.

32 missed penalties, 32 potential game-changing mistakes – but that doesn’t change that he is one of the best footballers in history.

Sayings such as:

“Every player, even pros, go through hard times like this. If you sign up for football, you must expect difficult times.”

This alone removes a huge amount of pressure.

2. Reward Effort & Process, Not Outcomes

The quickest way young footballers become demotivated is to be constantly focusing on results:

❌ “Why didn’t I score?”

❌ “I need to win more.”

❌ “How did I miss that open net?”

Instead, shift to things you can control, such as:

effort
focus
attitude
work rate
communication
willingness to try again

A great rule:Praise behaviour and positive reactions, not the scoreboard and outcomes.

Some powerful phrases:

“I worked as hard as I could’ve today.”

“I’m proud I won the ball back after making that mistake.”

“We lost, but I never gave up.”

This mindset keeps motivation high even when results don’t go your way.

3. Parents – Don’t Rush to Fix Feelings

Parents naturally want to cheer kids up when they’re upset or have had a challenging match. But sometimes, the best thing you can do is simply sit with their feelings and listen.

Instead of jumping in with advice, try:

“That sounds frustrating — want to tell me what happened?”

“I’m here for you. Take your time.”

Kids bounce back faster when they feel heard, not always lectured.

4. Players & Parents - Take Ownership Over Your Playing Time

Lack of playing time is a major stress point for many young athletes — and often for parents too. Firstly, as a player, take individual responsibility for your playing time – be honest and realistic:

“How can I improve on the field at practice and in games?”

“Can I use my strengths more often? How can I improve my weaknesses?”

Next, players, take individual responsibility to approach your coach and ask ‘what can I do to improve and help the team?’ Always, always, put the team first when it comes to these conversations.

Parents, be sure not to force your young athlete to have this conversation – it can be a suggestion and support them in their preparation, but always ensure they’re leading this process.

This teaches responsibility and maturity — and shows coaches your child is coachable, a trait truly more valuable than any single skill.

5. Teach Them the “Next-Play Mindset”

When athletes make a mistake, the next 10 seconds determine everything.

Do you shut down?

Or bounce back quickly?

Teach them the Next-Play Mindset, a simple reset technique used by elite athletes:

Acknowledge the mistake (“It happened”)
Reset mentally (“Deep breath”)
Focus on the next moment (“Next play”)

This skill helps with:

confidence
emotional control
performance in pressure situations
long-term mental resilience

Remember, a single mistake doesn’t determine you as a player or your future as a footballer – as we said, the best professional footballers have made thousands of mistakes that we see on TV weekly, and still continued to become the best of the best.

6. Celebrate ALL the Small Wins (Not Just the Big Ones)

Most players and parents wait for goals, trophies, or last-minute winners to celebrate. But players thrive when them and their parent’s notice the small moments, such as:

Communicating well
Showing effort, hustle & work ethic
Attempting a skill you’ve been practicing (successful or not)
Bouncing back after a mistake

These positing reactions to behaviours like this will build confidence much more consistently than any trophy, goal, or last-minute winner will.

7. Keep the Sport Fun

Kids don’t quit because of losing.

Kids don’t quit because of hard work.

Kids quit when the sport stops being fun.

The best ways to keep soccer enjoyable:

Don’t review every mistake on the car ride home
Parents - sometimes, ask fun questions like “What was your favourite moment today?”
Perform extra training you enjoy
Play backyard soccer, pick up soccer, or 1v1 with no pressure
Always celebrate your progress, not perfection

When soccer stays fun, motivation naturally follows.

8. Parents - Be the Calm, Steady, Supportive Presence They Need

At the end of the day, your role is not to be:

the coach
the trainer
the referee
the motivator
the critic

Your role is to be the anchor.

When things go well — celebrate.When things go poorly — support.When they make mistakes — encourage.When they lose playing time — guide.When they feel discouraged — remind them of their strengths.

Young footballers who receive this type of support from parents feel more confident, more motivated, and more resilient — not only in soccer, but in every area of life.

Final Thoughts

Ultimately, young athletes must understand that losing, making mistakes, and limited playing time WILL be something they face in the game of football.

If you as a footballer can learn to handle losing, mistakes, and limited playing time with bravery instead of fear, you’re gaining skills that will last long after soccer is over, including: